Drawing break!

Long story short. I’m depressed. By depressed… I mean really depressed.

Even as I’m typing this, my heart is begging for me to stick a knife in it and watch as it pierces my skin, cuts through my ventricles and arteries and I basically bleed to death…

And it makes me imagine it, being able to feel an imaginary knife in my hand, feel how cold the handle is… Feel my skin resisting for a second as it plunges through, the pain then coming to me as my mouth begins to fill with blood… Then the downward slice comes along which dissects my heart almost entirely.

I could even go into more detail… But that’s not the point.

This happens when I try to be creative… More than any other time. Due to this, I am not going to be writing up my Fanfiction I got stuck with, not practising to draw… Not even playing guitar.

Sorry, this is for my own benefit only and is a selfish act… Or maybe not. I don’t know.

~ Kyoko.

EDIT:

Throughout my entire life, I have been told two things.
Everypony else tells me I am really good at Maths.
I keep telling myself I am really creative.

I recently failed a Maths Module…
And I cannot be creative. My writing fails, my art has hit a block, my guitar has been stuck on the same level for ages… I feel like I’ve lost that.

If you also take into account my whole history, my lack of friends and people to talk to, all the pressure… It’s getting too much for me to handle.

…

That is probably a better thing to say at this point… So I’ll add it on.